2002-07-24 @ 1:15 a.m.

permanent mood:

Sylvia is a young girl whose dreams never die.

She is speaking today as if she has never spoken to the outside world. Actually, this is true. Her hidden mind is like a secret garden, which all the flowers are blooming. Even there is a black one that thrives. No ash, no death. Pure, cool raindrops clean her mind and clear her sky.

Love Taste

Sylvia fell in love when she was 18. it was the first time she tasted the sweet of love from the long dark loneliness. She once, for many times, imagined the boy of her own at dark nights and lonely moments. She felt sweet although he was just imaginary. But nothing came out of imagination. She was still alone. Then one day, her destiny gave her a chance that was too perfect to be true. She got anything she longed for. Her heart, for the first time, opened to a stranger. But before long, her whim began to hurt them both. She never thought love was so troublesome and annoying. Tears were with her everyday. Gradually, she realized how hard two get along with each other. Meanwhile, the meaning of love was getting clearer for her.

Love is understanding, love is communication, love is doubt. Love brings you more tears as well as more happiness. Love is hard but love will find a way. Love helps you grow up. Sylvia is still thinking about it...

Growing up

She is eager to grow up while she resists it at the same time. She isn't expected to remain innocent but she believes innocence is not fault. Only life can give her a lesson. She is suffering and she will suffer. Growing is always painful.

Parents

Her parents used to be her enemies. They could never be her friends. The gap between them always exists. It's hard for her to cope with such dilemma. But she is trying to bear and understand.

Future

She never expects what future brings her. She just minds the present and does everything with efforts to have no regret in future. "The future is our time and time is fleet" she often comes to this. Anything is possible in future if we want it happen and work hard.

Time

"Time passes as I am bleeding" She was once deeply in blue when she watched the sunrise and down. It seemed she could grasp nothing but disappointment. What can we get from 24 hours? How to get more? She was always thinking of it. 24 hours seems not enough, is lifetime enough? Time is the theme of our thoughts forever.

Insomnia

One day, she was shocked to see the phrase "dark thoughts" when reading Jane Eyre. She was very happy to know that Jane wasn't able to fall asleep and thought at night just as she did. She can't recall how many nights she lay awake and thought. Her mind was filled with past events while fear ran through her body. She was afraid of being deserted by time but nothing could help. Just wait, wait until sunrise. "Insomnia", she loves this word. Although she seldom fears for it now, she still prefers nights to daytime. Nights bring her quiet and peace to her heart. When others are all in their dreams, she acts like the only person alive. However, she knows she is not alone. There are night walkers wandering around the dark world.

Dreams

She never stops thinking even when she is sleeping. Mystery dreams often haunt her. She could remember some of them clearly. She put them down because her friend told her dreams could come true one day if they are taken down. They were really strange stories. Most of them are horrible. Deaths and ruins frequently appear. But she is used to nightmares. She even thinks about writing a book of them one day.

Art mania

She loves art terribly. Painting, designing, movie, music, literature¡­all draw her attention greatly. Though she hasn't learned them professionally, she has an eye for beauty and a sense of creating beauty. "Art is all around us" with this idea, she's decorating her life carefully.

Everybody loves nice things and everybody has their own view of the world. Not everyone is likely to be an artist, but everybody can show his feelings by artistic creating. The meaning of art is so wide today that it has effects on our daily life. Your can smell art everywhere. Ads in the streets, pattern on a cake, music in a cafeteria, words on a card... Every bit of beauty gives us flashy delight and inspiration. Due to that, Life is more beautiful than ever.

E-life

E-people, e-life, e-commerce, e-coupon, e-book, e-store, e-movie, e-chief lady, e-debut, e-travel, e-love, e-marriage, e-writer, e-...it seems that everything can be addressed after "e-". People's imaginations are developed further than ever before. The Internet has already changed our life style. Moreover, It gives us an immense stage to show ourselves. Any individual's any idea can be shown on line. It's also a good place for knowing each other. It gathers people from all over the world.

Sylvia is stuck on the net. In her opinion, the net is an endless hole. She can get whatever she wants. From information to friendship, from new thoughts to weird behaviors, she asks for anything. Nevertheless, love is an exception, she is sure of that. True emotion on line is forever imaginary if it remains on line. Love is not that simply too. Only words are not enough for a close relationship. But people still depend on that. It's true it can save us from loneliness.

Books

She regards books as her medicine that takes away her melancholy. Her mind relies on different authors from one period to another. At one time, she cried deeply from her heart to let the author know her pain. Books used to be her only friends who comforted her vulnerable heart. So she loves books more than anything in the world.

Sylvia is still watching, observing and discovering the world to her innocent eye. She is not satisfied to be a daydreamer any more. Therefore, she is trying to exceed herself.

"Tomorrow is a new day" she falls asleep while thinking of this...